I'm Worried My Team Will Fall Apart If I Take Maternity Leave
Posted Jul 17, 2023
Inc.com columnist Alison Green answers questions about workplace and management issues--everything from how to deal with a micromanaging boss to how to talk to someone on your team about body odor.
A reader asks:
I've been offered a promotion to lead my department, but I have also been trying to start a family with my husband for one year (with many failed attempts, loss, and much heartbreak). My company is aware of my plans but still wants me for the position.
However, if I get pregnant right away, I would be out on leave during the busiest time of the year, putting undue hardship on my company. I feel like I wouldn't be able to take any leave, as our department is busy nonstop, all day long. Any amount of time off to care for my child would be accompanied by nonstop phone calls and emails. I would need to work from home because there are things in my job that only I can do.
I know that life goes on, and you can't plan for everything to be perfect, but I don't want to have to be worrying about things getting done at work if I were to take 12 weeks of FMLA. I feel like it will never be the right time to have a baby, and I'll just keep pushing it back, and before I know it I'll be out of time. But as much as I want a child, I don't want to put my company in a bad place.
Do I put off growing my family until I'm more settled in my new position? Or do I just try and see what happens, knowing that if I do get pregnant, it will put a lot of strain on my company as well as myself?
Green responds:
Oh my goodness, take the promotion and keep trying to get pregnant if you want to!
Your company will survive. What would happen if you were in an accident and out of commission for months? Or if you had a family emergency and needed several months off? What if you quit? Your employer would go on. That's what happens at work. Things might get inconvenient, yes, and they might have to curtail things they were otherwise planning on doing during that period, but that is fine. That's how this stuff works.
No reasonable employer expects employees to put baby-making plans on hold because it would inconvenience the organization. That is not in any way a reasonable thing to expect, and you're being tremendously unfair to yourself if you feel like you need to.
The nice thing about pregnancy and parental leave is that -- unlike many other types of medical leaves -- you have time to plan before you go. You would be able to train people on your team before you left, incluing an interim replacement if you wanted one, and you'd leave behind lots of if/then documentation ("if X happens, do X"). You would have many months of prep time to do that. You would assign a point of contact to handle high-level decisions that others on your team can't make on their own. such as your own boss (so some of your ifs/thens will be "if X happens, contact Jane"). You would ensure that there are clear procedures during your absence for crucial things. You would back-burner some projects that would otherwise be planned for that time period, which is normal when people go on leave. You might farm out some responsibilities to people on other teams. You could also look into hiring long-term skilled temps from a company that specializes in your field (these aren't admin temps, but rather people who are trained in your particular work area and can fill in for some of the core work that you do).
This will not be perfect. Things won't run like they would if you were there. That's fine. That's how it's supposed to work when people are on leave. Your company and your co-workers will survive three months of "not perfect but good enough." They'll even survive three months of "kind of chaotic" if they have to.
Also, about this: "Any amount of time off to care for my child would absolutely be accompanied by nonstop phone calls and emails." Noooo! That would be illegal because it's what's considered FMLA interference; your company cannot legally bombard with you with work questions while you're taking FMLA. You're probably thinking that it doesn't matter because there's just no way to make this work without accepting those conditions, but that's only the case if you decide it's the case! Plenty of people with high-level positions whose work is crucial to their companies simply say "I will not be reachable while I'm on maternity leave, period," and their companies make it work. People will follow the boundaries you set and enforce.
You don't need to put your baby plans on hold (and potentially lose your best window to fulfill them) in order to keep your organization running, and no decent organization would ask that of you. Please go accept that promotion, keep trying for a baby, and trust that your employer can handle some chaos for a few months if they have to.